Lots of reflection today. Motherhood is a blessed, but sometimes emotionally complicated ride.
As I think about my relationship with my mother, I realize that although I loved her much
I didn’t always show it in the right ways.
I’m not sure when it happens but at some point, you may begin to compare your mom to other mothers, especially if they’re younger or more “fun.”
You may really like someone else’s mom better than yours or wish your mom would be more like them.
My mom was very practical and she shopped some but not as much as some of the other moms who took weekly shopping trips and I thought that would be so much fun…
I remember a conversation when I was about 14 that we had in the car one day when I was begging to buy a new top that I thought I HAD to have from a certain trendy store in town.
She said, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
(My parents often used these “old” sayings and this one really irritated me. They grew up in The Depression and were very careful with their money.)
Of course, I knew that money didn’t grow on trees, but all the other mothers bought their daughters new clothes weekly and I wanted to do that too!
I snapped back at her with, “Momma, you act like we’re dirt poor!”
Unfortunately that was not the only time I snapped back at her…
I did it too many times and I regret that.
I’m not sure why children start to think they’re smarter than their mothers but it really does sting when, as a mother, you find yourself on the other end of the situation.
At some point your daughter (or child) feels the same way you did and you then understand some of what you put your mother through.
(By the way, I did NOT have many of these conversations with my dad because I eventually learned, the hard way, not to talk to him in that tone!! )
I was determined to get a job as soon as I could and make my own money so I would not have to ask anyone for permission to buy something I wanted and I did.
I did save some money but I learned how to “shop smart” and bought things I wanted too because I’ve never been real big on having a big bank account and not enjoying it.
When we married, we soon found out that money does not grow on trees and went through hard times as most couples do. EVENTUALLY we grew up and had a sweet little baby girl.
And wouldn’t you know- at some point I had a very similar reaction as my mom did about my child “having to have that certain brand of clothes or shoes” like all the other kids.
I did not want my daughter to think that she had to have THE BRAND to fit in.
BUT I did NOT say that annoying saying!!!
Thankfully, our daughter learned to be “smart” with her money and work hard too.
Each generation thinks they’re going to be smarter and do things differently than the one before.
But,it’s kind of funny, at some point you hear very similar words coming out of your mouth and you realize “I’m really becoming my mother” and in my case, that’s not a bad thing at all.
I learned a lot from my mother and I realized what she was trying to teach me about money, relationships, and about not following the crowd…
She was a smart, beautiful woman.
Glad I wised up in time to let her know how much I truly loved her. I hope I will be able to pass along some of the things my mother taught me to our little granddaughter.
Our daughter, my Mom, and me
Our daughter, granddaughter and me